I would’ve never written Lavender Sound if it weren’t for a no-good, very bad day and the loving response of my mom.
I was feeling stressed and stuck watching experiences in my life and relationships repeat. I turned to a bit of talk therapy with my mom. She cleverly asked me, “What do you need?” To which I answered, “I wish I could just build a fort and watch movies and be a kid again.”
She had one of her simple but wise moments and replied, “So, let’s do it.”
We grabbed chairs, blankets, and pillows. I may have been 20 years old at the time but my mom still, without question, helped me map out the perfect place to build this fortress of solitude and comfort. I put on the movie “A Walk in the Clouds” and she gave me one of those hugs that only a mom could as I settled in for the night.
Yes, I totally slept in my fort.
When the movie was over, I felt that familiar itch. I picked up my guitar (my songwriting book was always right on top of my case, at the ready for when inspiration moments would strike.) The beginning chords were what the movie felt like to me – dreamy and nostalgic.
Nostalgic. That was the word for how I felt.
As I wrote down what the past with this person felt like to me, I realized I was making peace with more than just those experiences but the woman I was becoming because of them. It made me realize that it was worth the heartache. Hence the line, “Learning of me was heaven sent.” The lessons were the true blessing, even if the relationship didn’t work out like I wanted it to.
I did eventually go to sleep and when I woke up I played my new song for both of my parents. It is still to date one of the best reactions I’ve ever gotten from anyone after writing a song.
I credit it all to my pillow fort and the magic of being a child even if you’re 20.
Sometimes we need to just be a kid again.
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